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frozen-in-childhood:

teddytrumpet:

septetteforaspookyprincess:

when you accidentally step on a bee

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Omfg

i just spent three minutes trying to figure this out by sight-singing it like is that the sound you make when you squish the bee? did you get stung and youre screaming? are you sad you killed the bee? NO IT’S JUST FUCKING FALTT IT’S JUST A B FLAT TI’S A FLATG BEE A B THAT IS FLAT ANDW I WAS FUCKING TRRYING TO SIING IT LIKE A MORNON

chepibola:

when my mum scolds me

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wienrs:

if you’re reading this i’m beautiful

I don’t think they quite understand the power of “if”

Conversation I heard in the club.

Shy Guy: Hey there..
Random Guy: Hey what's up?
Shy Guy: Nothing much, just wanted to say you are really cute.
Random Guy: Thanks dude!
Shy Guy: So, are you here with anyone?
Random Guy: Yeah, my girlfriend just went to the washroom.
Shy Guy: Oh God, I'm sorry, didn't know you were straight.
Random Guy: That's alright it's cool.
Shy Guy: You don't mind me calling you cute?
Random Guy: A compliment is a compliment no matter who it comes from.

landorus:

the older u get the funnier spongebob becomes

sparkhy:

you might as well wear a condom on your head if you’re gonna act like a dick 

boomsticks-and-firewater:

puellamagidolaon:

lovrdlogic:

When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you

Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.

Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.

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